Fried Rice

 

Ingredients (for one person) :

 

    • Half a cup of raw white rice
    • 1 chicken breast
    • 1/2 an onion
    • As many frozen peas as you want. A table spoon is good. Or a Güd glass potful.
    • 1 egg
    • Dark soy sauce - 1/2 a tablespoon
    • Light soy sauce - 1 tablespoon
    • Salt
    • MSG
    • Vegetable oil

 

(Yo, use a wok)

 

Hello.

This is the recipe for fried rice. It is disgracefully easy. But the secret is… MSG. You don’t have to use it but it wont taste as good. I get it on Amazon.co.uk. It’s a flavour enhancer. Truly makes the difference.

 

A big step is also to start the night before. Cook the white rice and let it cool then put it in the fridge. It dries it out. You need the rice  D R Y.

 

Prep all your ingredients and get them within reach. Once the train leaves the station, is is moving. Fast and intense.

 

Lets say for instance that you’re making a basic chicken fried rice.

 

You’re going to need your chicken, rice, eggs, onion, and peas prepared. You’ll need soy sauce. Both kinds. Light and dark. And salt. And MSG. I think that’s everything.

 

The rice is cooked, cooled and waiting in the fridge eagerly. Leave it there for now.

 

The chicken. Breast or thigh (it doesn’t matter, but thigh is better) needs to be poached. Poach it in water with a little bit of salt. When it’s cooked let it cool and chop it into bitesized bits. You can actually chop it when its still hot (if your fingers can handle it) and it cools pretty fast. Let it rest on some kitchen roll to absorb the moisture.

 

The egg - beat it thoroughly. Beat the shit out of it. Smooth as can be. Then add a decent pinch of salt and an even decent-er pinch of MSG. It will go watery, but don’t worry.

 

The onion needs to be finely diced. Get those pieces small. Smaller than the rice.

 

The peas - petit pois - frozen. Just pour them into a cup or a bowl or a shoe or something.

 

Right, now we get the rice. Add the dark soy sauce and mix it well. Every grain coated.

 

Put the wok on the cooker and set the hob to the highest heat it goes. Pour in the vegetable oil - not olive or coconut or beef dripping. Vegetable oil - and swirl it around to cover the wok. Put in a decent amount of oil, but not too much. You don’t want to be shallow or deep frying the food.

Ready? It’s about to kick off. Grab your spoon or ladle.

 

  • Add the egg. It’ll flumph up. Let them. Then stir. They’ll turn into a fluffy scramble. Stir stir stir.

 

  • Make a gap in the eggs to present the bottom of the wok. Add the onions. Stir stir stir. Add a 1/4 tsp of salt and 1/2 tsp of MSG. Keep stirring.

 

  • Make a gap again. Add the chicken. Stir stir stir. Add salt and MSG again. Same amounts as before. 1/4 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp MSG. Stir. Don’t stop.

 

  • Okay. Pour in the rice. Stir. Are you still stirring? You’re not stirring enough. Mix that rice. You dont want it to stop. Keep it moving. Add a 1/2 tsp of salt and a whole (yeah, whole) tsp of MSG. Stir. Keep stirring. Shoogle the pan. Mix it up. Go, you glorious son of a bitch. Does your arm hurt? No? Then you’re not moving that rice enough. Okay, you’re done… is a lie I just told you. Keep stirring.

 

  • Add about a table spoons worth of light soy sauce around the edge of the wok. You’ll hear it hit the bottom and hiss. Stir the contents. Mix it up. You’ve got this.

 

  • Add the peas. They’ll defrost. Mix them through.

 

  • Keep stirring until the peas are defrosted.

 

  • Enjoy

I love Chinese food (well, the UK takeaway version. I've never been to China).  This is such an easy recipe to make and once you see how simple it is, you'll be making it yourself at least once a month. 
You can add basically anything you want to it. Just add it at the appropriate time. 
You want prawns? Add them when you would add chicken. 
You want peppers? Add them when you would add the onions.

If you want to add mushrooms, I would recommend cooking them first in a separate pan because they can make the other ingredients go grey, and they have so much moisture in them you'll never get them cooked properly. 

Supermarkets sell big bags of prawn crackers. They go excellently with this meal. 
Speaking of which, it doesnt have to be a meal. Making just egg fried rice can go as a fantastic side dish to a curry. You're in charge. Add what you want or omit what you want. But I cant stress how good the MSG makes this meal. Its not cheating. Its just enhancing the flavour. But do what you want. You're the boss.

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